


The extremely depressing reality of love

by Ghostorn



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mental Breakdown, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 20:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20917925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostorn/pseuds/Ghostorn
Summary: Tyler is very upset with everything after a single game of Mario Kart seemingly ruins his life.





	The extremely depressing reality of love

**Author's Note:**

> Might add more chapters/ continue this. lmk if youd like to see it !

Tyler knew what he was feeling was wrong.

And yet, he felt it anyways.

Tyler had silently been struggling with one very minor issue: 

He is most definetly, positively, completely, and utterly in love with his best friend.  
Tyler had been with Joshua for years, he had been with him during the showtime highs, the major lows, and always knew how to comfort Tyler the best- and yet the feelings hadn't arisen until one late night.

It was around 3 am, he believes, that Josh had convinced Tyler that 3am is truly the peak of weird, cursed emotions. Cursed, they had been. All they did was play Mario Kart, Tyler lost and cursed Josh out, to which Josh just laughed.  
And thats when Tylers stomach turned in every direction you could think of- at once. Something about the way Josh's laugh was so pure, filled with nothing but joy and affection, Tyler realised he felt safe with him. Always.

So here he is, on a friday night, sitting with his legs curled up in a dark room, and all he can think about is Josh.  
As dark as it was, if you has been able to even see the way Tyler was gripping at his arms, holding on as tight as possible while theyre slung across his legs, you would be able to tell the sort of battle he's having.  
Meanwhile, Josh was probably out somewhere- with Debby- or maybe hanging out somewhere in his hotel room- not thinking about Tyler.

And that hurt him the most.

All Tyler could do was stare in his pitch black room, at what was probably the floor, with his face tucked between his knees, holding on for dear life as a rollercoaster of thoughts ran through his head.  
One of him, kissing the top of long brown hair, and the girls pouty lips. A clear, deep and trusting voice attached to a faceless ghost and soft whispers of "I love you." These ones were near impossible to get rid of. The letters of affection addressed to someone who wasnt him- it made his stomach twist in ways that he could only think were worse than that of a stab wound.  
There were, though, always the wonderful ones. The fantasies that only fed his hearts sick and twisted games. The ones that made him feel like he was on fire. The ones that made him feel alive. Scruffy black rooted hair laying on Tylers chest, or the deep spruce eyes fluttering closed as they connected with eachother. The laugh that pierced his soul in the best way, in the sleepiest voice. The ghosts hands roaming over Tylers body, making notes on tracing his thumb on the thin hairs across Tylers face and softly tracing circles across his neck.  
Tyler had thought of Joshua so much, he contemplated that he might know his face better than Josh might.  
This needed to stop.  
Tyler had started crying.

He didn't know when- or why- but an incoherent mutter-sob mix had snapped him back into the real world, wet, cold lines dripping from his face and soaking into the cotton of his shirt. The dark room he had stowed away in. It would always be like this. He would always be thinking of Josh. Alone. He would never be able to be with him the way he wanted to be. And then he sobbed louder, though this one was more muffled by his tight, black jeans. The more he cried, and the more he breathed hot breaths, ones that held on for just a bit on his legs before disappearing, the colder the room seemed to become. The more the questioning dark seemed to close in on him. Though he could see nothing, it suddenly felt like every object in the room was suddenly right next to him, and if he moved, he would break everything at once. He couldn't think. He was terrified  
And then there was light shining in his face. Startling him, making his body jump up, and fear flashed through his entire body so fast, it had felt like Tyler had lived with fear for every a second of his life.  
Josh had been standing in a thin line of light, now less blinding, and showing an almost clear vision of the next room over.

"Tyler?" he had asked, his voice thick with concern, but understanding, ( or at least he thought he understood.) He was so oblivious to the pain he put Tyler through. But none of it was truly his fault.  
"Whats wrong, buddy?"  
Ow.  
Tyler looked anywhere else. Anywhere else but his eyes, or his face, or of Josh in general. Tyler had preferred to keep his mouth shut, and his face buried in his tear soaked sleeves and cold spotted jeans. Josh, again, understood. It's not the first time Tyler had done this.  
"I know it gets rough out there. It's a lot of people."  
No, you're so dumb. Don't.  
"And it gets overwhelming for me too." an obviously hesitant hand touched Tylers back, and calmly traces circles around it with his palm.  
Please, Josh, not right now. Don't do this to me now.  
"Hey." His voice was soft now, and would've surely have been inaudible, if it weren't for the fact Josh was now crouched directly next to Tyler. "Why don't we go back to my room. We can play more Mario Kart. I have Smash Bros, too, if you feel like getting your ass kicked."  
There it was, his voice ever so comforting, and still you could hear the love in it, even when he was threatening you with Smash Bros. You could hear his dumb, stupid, amazing smile, even when your face is tucked away in your arms.  
This is one of the reasons Tyler loved him so much.  
He was always there. He always knew how to make him feel better.  
And yet, it still stung, just for a second, when Tyler said

"Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I havent gotten the urge to write fanfic in so long, it's insane. To be clear, I dont ship these two IRL, i ship the characters, if that makes sense? Anyways, this is sort of based off of experience, so i hope it turned put okay. I havent written in a while, plus, tomorrow is my birthday ! woo !!!
> 
> (ps, happy 1-hour-too-late birthday to Trench ! an album that literally changed my life and influenced how i see the world and how i want them to see me. You did so well, guys.)


End file.
